Penis Size - Does it Matter?
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| There are few things in this world that might, god forbid, bring on the apocalypse, like hunger, global warming and terrorism. And between our consumption of global news and world tragedies, between our political points of views, left or right, between our religion and the color of our skin one issue will always concern us. No matter where in the world you are, no matter if you are poor or rich, black or white, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, Jew or Christian… the size of the penis will always take an honorable part in our social life. The penis, in away, has it’s own individual life since the person it attached to, most of the times, can’t really control it. Despite the concern of my parents and Child Welfare organizations, my sex life started at a young age (even before I could spell Penis), so early in my life I knew how Orgasm felt and rebutted, once and for all, the Stork Theory. The first time I laid my eyes on this organ with its strange expression and hidden agendas I fell in love. Still my first contact with the above organ was pretty scary and intimidating, and any attempt to connect between “It” and my vagina ended up in failure and left me and my right hand drained of energy. The Penis-Phobia I developed at an early age gave birth to a new hobby, not expensive and not rare hobby, since there is always a penis or two close by… and with doing so I gave an all new meaning to the saying “If you can’t beat them, Join them”, I became a Penis-fanatic. After close encounters, late night conversations and taste expeditions which neutralized my gag reflex, I learned that also the Penis, as intimidating as it looks, have feelings, political propensities, ambitions and the ability to be offended. Thus you must not insult, irritate, wrinkle, duplicate, copy, cut, hurt, bite, curse, make a joke on it or try forcefully to make him grow or swollen. Any such attempts will make the penis scared to his testicles and leave it hidden without finding out his full potential and talent, only if you got a direct order by the Penis to abuse it you can do as you wish. After a long period and close examination of hundreds of penises, in all colors, sizes and shapes, after countless inflamed monologs with my sisters in arms about the subject that left millions around the world, men and women, wondering if the size really counts or maybe it’s the diameter, or god forbidden both, I decided to bring few complains and praises about this organ that sometimes controls our life. There are so many different penises with different characters and different appearance, they come in all kinds, in all colors, sometimes they come with extras such as sores and zits. They come with tendencies, with ambitions, with conditions and even with slants. They stand they fall and they leave a mess, they circumcised, they are not, some compare them to pistachios and some suffer from permanent trauma after tasting the size of the penis up to their throat from the wrong side of their body (And I don’t mean the mouth). Despite the fact that I saw more penises than an old Jewish Mohel, I can never stay apathetic at some scary sights me and other women encountered on our way to meet the Penis who will liberate us from the agony of being horny. |
The Surprising Penis The first Penis I met was attached to a man who wasn’t blest with high intelligence but was blest with amazing ability so surprise me with his penis. It wasn’t unusually big or unusually thick, it was simply surprising. |
The Long and Exhausting PenisThis penis is not thick and comes with political views some to the right, some to the left. It’s ability to please you is successful only if your G-spot is located in the area of the spleen and liver, even then there’s a good chance this encounter will not have reruns even if you highly aroused, you will find yourself searching for other options to avoid another terrible meeting with the Long and Exhausting. |
The Political Penis The penis with political tendencies appear also in a thick version. There’s the right-wing penis and there’s the left-wing one. The right-wing penis resembles a door-to-door insurance salesman. An encounter with such a pines can lead you to the nearest hospital in a state of dehydration, and like the stubbornness of insurance salesman the right-wing penis refuses to evacuate and leave you alone even if you are on the verge of death. |
The Upside down Banana PenisThis kind of penis is dangerous even to a professional hooker, being penetrated by such a penis or sucking it can leave you not only disabled emotionally but also physically challenged, mildly speaking. |
The Small Dripping Penis After numerous encounters with enough penises to fill up Shea Stadium, I added the Small and Dripping to my resume. This kind of penis is usually attached to a man that like his penis, have no skills what so ever. It’s awkward, it’s sweating, it’s stutter and it always makes you feel repulsed, apparently not enough because in the midst of a highly horny night you find yourself chasing desperately after the Small and Dripping and as usual you are shocked when you find out that “It” ended the party much before you started it. |
The Large and Thick Penis When it comes to the Large and Thick there’s a consensus among all women, it comes in all version and usually attached to men who do not look as intimidating as their penis. |
