Marriage Counselling Does It Work?

10th May, 2023

Marriage Counseling Does It Work?

Many couples going through a crisis ask, “Does marriage counseling it work?” Before you even consider getting counseling, both of you need to want the marriage to work, and you also need to have some idea of your expectations during the sessions.

Lack of communication is a significant cause of marital problems. Before you even consider marriage counseling, sit down together and take turns to talk.

Taking the time to talk to each other can identify many problems that are causing your relationship to fail.

Don’t interrupt your spouse while it’s his turn. Many couples are too busy to discuss important issues with each other. Some are afraid to speak out in case they rock the boat. However, it’s far worse if you keep things inside as they will eventually surface and cause far worse problems resulting in separation or divorce.

Counseling helps you both deal with these problems no matter how painful. Some common issues between couples include lack of physical contact, infidelity, money worries, and not spending enough time together. Demands from kids, work, and elderly parents can all put a real strain on any marriage.

Things may get worse before they improve.

Just like a visit to the physiotherapist for a back problem, you can expect things to get worse before they get better. The counselor may dig deep into
complex issues, such as an affair you or your partner had, which may lead to conflict! This is a good thing as facing up to problems will bring them out in the open. Depending on how long you have been experiencing these issues, and their nature, depends a lot on how many sessions you will need.

If you have let things get terrible between you and have done nothing about it for some time, you could expect to need several counseling sessions. However, if you’ve taken action early, it may be easier to repair the relationship.

Going alone

Marriage counseling does it work if you go on your own? If you have a strong desire to save your marriage, but your partner doesn’t seem to care, seeing a counselor may not make much difference to your relationship. However, if your spouse is still keen to save the marriage but doesn’t want to go to counseling sessions, then going on your own will undoubtedly be beneficial. You will learn how to better interact with each other and how to work through your problems.

Choosing the right counselor

Having decided to seek counseling, you need to find someone you feel comfortable talking to about susceptible issues within

Allow plenty of time for your marriage counseling sessions, and make sure you arrive early for appointments, as you will feel more relaxed. Trying to squeeze in a session during your lunch break at work won’t be beneficial as you will be worrying about the time. Most will give a free initial consultation, allowing you to get a feel for different counselors' individual personalities and working methods.

What to expect

So what happens during a marriage counseling session? Firstly the counselor will put you both at ease in what will probably be a comfortable and pleasant environment. She or he will chat with you both and learn a little about you. Then you will be asked about your marriage and any problems affecting your relationship.

If you are alone, you will be advised to interact with your spouse and handle conflict constructively.

You will be shown how to turn anger into something more positive and discuss things calmly and objectively.

Counseling may bring up painful and difficult issues that you find hard to discuss with each other, and the presence of a trained marriage counselor can help you both to face up to these issues and work through them.

At the end of the session, the counselor will evaluate the problems raised and advise you on how best to deal with them. You may need several sessions before your marriage starts to improve, and you may also get homework to do between sessions. Any assignments given to you are essential to counseling and must be followed. They are given to you for a reason, and if you fail to put the effort in and complete them, you can’t expect the best results.

So does it work?

So does marriage counseling work? Yes, it can if you are both keen to make the marriage work. Having a 3rd person present can get you to talk objectively and constructively, which you may not be able to do on your own. Once you learn the techniques shown to you by the counselor, you will then have the tools to build your marriage into a strong and healthy relationship that will last.

10 reasons why you should give a marriage counselor a try

  • A professional counselor can provide the tools and guidance to improve communication and resolve conflicts with your partner.
  • Going to counseling shows that you are committed to your marriage and willing to work through any challenges that may arise.
  • Counseling can help you identify and address underlying issues impacting your relationships, such as unresolved trauma or mental health concerns.
  • A counselor can provide a neutral and objective perspective on your relationship, helping you to see things from a different point of view and gain new insights.
  • Counseling can help you and your partner better understand each other's needs, desires, and goals, fostering greater intimacy and connection.
  • Seeking counseling early on can prevent smaller issues from escalating into larger problems that may be more difficult to resolve.
  • A counselor can help you and your partner develop strategies for managing stress, improving self-care, and promoting overall wellness.
  • Counseling can help you learn new communication skills and coping mechanisms that can benefit all aspects of your life, not just your marriage.
  • Counseling can help you and your partner create a plan for moving forward and rebuilding trust and intimacy, even after major conflicts or crises.
  • By investing in your marriage through counseling, you can cultivate a deeper sense of commitment, loyalty, and love that can help you weather any storms that come your way.

There are many compelling reasons why you should try to fix your marriage rather than give up on it. While it may be tempting to throw in the towel when faced with challenges or conflicts, taking the time and effort to work through these issues can ultimately lead to a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.

By seeking resources like counseling or therapy, you can gain valuable insights and tools to improve communication, resolve conflicts, and deepen your emotional connection with your partner. You can also identify and address underlying issues impacting your relationships, such as unresolved trauma, mental health concerns, or unmet needs.

Investing in your marriage can have far-reaching benefits, not just for your relationship but for your overall well-being and happiness. A healthy, supportive marriage can provide stability, security, and companionship to help you navigate life's challenges with greater ease and resilience.

Ultimately, fixing your marriage requires a willingness to be vulnerable, to acknowledge your shortcomings and limitations, and to work together with your partner towards a common goal. It may not always be easy, but the rewards of a strong, loving, and enduring relationship are well worth the effort. So if you're struggling with your marriage, don't give up hope - take the first step towards healing, growth, and renewal by reaching out for help and support today.