How To Give The Perfect Spank?
Our Spanktastic Guide On How To!
To spank or not to spank?…that is the question.
Who doesn’t like the excitement and thrill of a little slap and tickle? Carry on reading for the Kinky Fetish Bondage guide to spanking…
Pain is not everyone’s idea of pleasure. However, some who enjoy it may want to bend over and try spanking. Or perhaps your pleasure of choice is delivering pain to your partner through a swat or two.
Who’s been a very very naughty girl or boy then? Before you indulge in a saucy game of slap and tickle, you may want to read our 101 on spanking.
Some may turn their nose up and think spanking a partner is slightly strange and almost taboo. However, since the release of the saucy E.L. James best-selling novel and Film “Fifty Shades of Grey.” there has been a significant rise in the number of men and women purchasing spanking tools or who have an interest in spanking.
So much so that recent statistics show that around 22 percent of British women and 8 percent of British men fantasize about spanking. In comparison, 16 percent of British women and 13 percent of British men fantasize about being spanked.
Why spanking? Why not. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it as my mother used to say. Not only does it feel pretty darn good to be bent over and spanked, but unlike other sensual zones, the bottom is fleshy and fatty. It can withstand a large amount of pressure without it feeling intolerable, and it can feel highly pleasurable and arousing.
The derriere is, for most a very erotic zone, so a good spank can undoubtedly get the sexual adrenaline going. The actual act of spanking screams dominance and submission to many and is seen to be a big turn on to many. The thought of being defenseless or of dominating someone is sexy in itself.
Wanting to add a little something different to your love life? Or wanting to try some soft-core BDSM? Then spanking may be your answer. A mixture of the correct approach and techniques are vital components to make spanking sexy.
Communication is essential if you want to indulge in spanking- whether you the spanker or spankee. Unexpectedly receiving a spanking can be unappreciated and not much of a turn-on if you don’t feel the whole spanking vibe. Before buying paddles and whips (or digging your old ones out), have a conversation with your partner to discuss your and their feelings on the matter. Discuss how you might go about it, and remember consent is essential. Discussing how you might like to spank or be spanked by your partner can be a big turn-on and excellent foreplay.
Spanking can be both physically and emotionally painful. Many people like to play with pain, punishment, and pleasure boundaries, but it is essential to set some rules beforehand. Those who enjoy BDSM live by that rule. Ensure you discuss limits. Let your partner know what you are and are not willing to do, and ensure you listen to and respect their limits.
Spanking isn’t about looking to severely hurt someone, but as with most things, the risk factor is always present. Having a safe word is of the utmost importance. This should be a word or phrase you wouldn’t normally say during intercourse. Using a traffic light system can often work very well and is widely used by BDSM enthusiasts. “Green” meaning everything is fine to go on or carry on, “yellow” being slowing down or just be aware you’re nearing your limits, and “red” means to stop.
Like any sexual activity, setting a mood before you let the spanking commence is extremely important. If you or your partner arent aroused, then it’s highly unlikely that either of you will enjoy spanking and instead of being sexy and erotic will end up being painful and awkward.
It is highly advised to start slowly and let the festivities progress naturally and freely. Starting with a little kissing and cuddling and slowly progressing to foreplay. Talking dirty and speaking about what you want to do to each other or be done to you can set the mood and be particularly arousing if someone is being particularly naughty and perhaps could do with being punished.
Role-playing can add to the thrill of the whole spanking experience, but it’s unnecessary. Some feel that it’s easier to be a spankee or spanker when they take the time to become a made-up character or person playing up to a role. Dressing up in a Sexy Maids Outfit or maybe a Naughty School Girls Outfit
All types of role-playing involving dominance and submission are the perfect accompaniment to a night of spanking; examples could be master and slave, daddy and little girl or teacher and student role-playing. Only you know what turns you on so get imaginative.
There are many spanking positions, the most common being the over-knee position. The spankee is lay face down over the spanker’s lap. This position is simple, intimate, and highly sexy and is perfect for role-playing as a father and daughter or teacher and student.
Of course, if the over-the-knee position doesn’t quite cut it for you, there are many other positions. Perhaps have the spankee lean over an item of furniture such as a bed or desk, kneel on the hands and knees or just lay face down for full impact. Or if you and your partner enjoy spanking a lot and want to become seasoned spankers, there are specifically designed items of sex furniture for spanking.
Spanking needs to start softly and slowly. Don’t jump in by giving your partner a real walloping. Start slow, lightly, and gently caress first. If your partner shows they enjoy this, you can slowly work to gentle swats and eventually become harder to an excellent full spanking.
Experimenting is key to perfecting your spanking technique and to help find the ones that work best for you. Techniques can be changed every now and again by varying the shape of the hand, intensity, and speed of your slaps. Cupping the hand while spanking usually delivers a deeper, duller thud rather than a flat palm's stinging, tingling sensation. Changing between swats and caresses or firmly grabbing the buttocks after each stroke is also a fantastic way to mix things up. Don’t be afraid to try experimenting with following through with your hand instead of just letting your hand bounce off the buttocks, as each method gives different sensations. Above all else, you should listen to how your partner reacts to your different actions. If you’re doing something they love, keep pushing the boundaries.
Erotic spanking should be just that- erotic. So make sure you incorporate some sensualness into the spanking, especially as you suss out your partner's pain limits. Mixing pleasure with pain can work very well; for instance, you could lightly stroke the anus or clitoris while delivering a spanking or lightly tickle, scratch, nibble or rub the buttocks in between spanks. With a lot of practice, it may be possible to make someone orgasm from the very practice of spanking alone.
Pain can be pleasurable, but you've gone too far if the injury has been caused. Only ever spank on fleshy areas such as the buttocks. Spanking on areas with little boney fat can be exceptionally painful and may bruise. It’s essential to never spank a partner just above the buttocks as this can lead to spinal or kidney traumas… and we wouldn’t want something that’s supposed to be pleasurable to become an embarrassing a&e nightmare.
It essential that spankees shouldn’t be afraid to communicate in any way during a spanking and should tell their partner when it becomes too much. This is where having a safe word or the traffic light system would come to hand. The spanker should always respect and play by the spankee's boundaries and stop spanking immediately when the safe word is uttered.
The time after delivering a spanking is just as important if not more important than the spanking itself. This time should be used to relax, unwind, and perhaps talk and discuss what you liked or didn’t about the spanking. If the session was particularly intense, it might be that a little cuddling is needed for reassurance for both parties. A warm bubble bath or cool, wet washcloth on the buttocks can be soothing and an excellent way to bond after a spanking.
So, if you’ve considered all the above and are even more intrigued, then perhaps it's time to bend over and tell your partner you’ve been naughty and need a good spanking.